Take my life, for example. I thought I was going to be a doctor, a reconstructive surgeon, in fact. Instead I went into technology. Then, I thought I was going into product design, but life directed me towards software and the web. Then, I thought I was going to be an energy healer, but life sent me to fashion school… and then nutrition school… and the changes keep coming.
It doesn’t make sense, does it?
There is a method to this madness. I didn’t see it then, but I see it now. Life does not waste our talents and our experiences and it all comes together eventually. Your soul has a master plan.
In order to follow the master plan that our soul is guiding us through, we need to let go of expectations and our ideas of accomplishments that we want to achieve by a certain age.
My most dominant thought while I was going through so many career changes was that I had to find my passion so that I could start a business I loved BEFORE I had a baby. I wanted to be an entrepreneur and I thought I’d have everything all set to go by the time I was 30. I would be financially free, I would be in control of my schedule, and everything would be set up for a wonderful work/life balance.
30 came and went. No baby, no business, and I was moving to another city to go back to school again.
It can be very frustrating not knowing where you are going even though you know you are headed in the right direction. It would be simpler if life just handed us a neat little package with our life plan clearly laid out. But that would spoil the fun, wouldn’t it?
Do you have things you thought you’d accomplish by a certain age or point in your life?
As I talk to people, I realize I’m not the only one with these disappointing expectations.
- My husband wanted to be married by the time he was 27. He didn’t even meet me until he was 28.
- A friend of mine thought she would be settled down, married, with kids by now. Instead, she went through divorce and some trying relationships afterwards. She feels the clock ticking and is feeling disappointment.
- Another friend has been job hopping his whole life and had no idea what he wanted to do. At 38 he finally found his dream job and is very happy to have found something he is passionate about.
- Another friend told me how lucky I am because I have a husband and a baby. At 36 she’s still looking for the man in her life. I look at her and see her passion for her career and the clarity she has with what she wants to do with her life and I think – she’s lucky she’s found her passion!
I think you get the idea. Everyone has something they wanted to accomplish and achieve in their life, but most of our lives are not the neat little package that we see from the outside. You really have no idea the inner turmoil that is going on until you really get to know someone at a deep level.
The grass always looks greener on the other side, but everyone is facing their own issues. It’s a part of life. Life challenges you so that you can grow.
No one’s life is perfect, no matter what it looks like from the outside.
The perfect life is the life in which you can be happy with where you are in this moment, no matter where you are in life.
I know that big life changes can shatter even the most confident person’s sense of self. It happened to me. When I left my career, I lost my identity. I was lost. After I had a baby, I lost my sense of self. It takes a process of building ourselves back up by giving ourselves credit for everything we’ve achieved so far in life. We all have successes that are impressive, even if it’s just getting a baby to sleep through the night!
When you’re feeling down and out, know that you are actually in the perfect place at the perfect time and the right things are happening to move you forward in life.
Even though you may not be exactly where you thought you were going to be by this point in your life, remember that through all your struggles you have become a wiser person armed with life experiences and more tools in your tool belt to create an amazing future. Had you not gone through all the things you did, you would still be creating a future from your old self. Now that you’ve grown so much, you can create an even better future than you were capable of before. The future is bright and anything is possible!
So, let go of those expectations from your past that are just making you feel bad about yourself.
Why did you have these expectations in the first place? Was it because everyone else is doing things by a certain age? Is society or family expecting it from you? Is it because you want to look good in front of others? What truly matters is your own happiness and being okay with where you are right now. Let go of all these expectations.
The good news is that whatever you wanted to achieve in life is still in store for you! You just had the timeline wrong. Because you waited to create this future after going through all the personal development that you did, you will be rewarded. Focus not on where you are in life, but on the person you’ve become in the process.
It is more important who you ARE rather than what you HAVE.
Remember, you are in the perfect place at this moment in your life. You are in the process of gathering skills, learning, and becoming who you need to become for the next stage of your life. The world is conspiring to make everything work out for you and is supporting you every step of the way. All you need to do is have faith, be grateful for where you’re at, and keep moving forward!
What you will create now will be truly beyond your own imagination. Great things are in store for you!
Here are a few quotes that really drive this point home:
“I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
- Thomas Edison
“Often the biggest breakdown happens just before the biggest breakthrough.”
- Author Unknown
“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
- Michael Jordan
Even the greatest had their challenges and more failures than we can count. Keep your head high, do your work, and know that great things are in store right around the corner.